Expat Dating Singles Netherlands – How not Crash & Burn

Expat Dating Singles in Netherlands who have recently arrived in Netherlands for work or other reasons and those who already live here may find themselves in bit of a gumblegoo situation. Everything is new and unfamiliar specially if you are coming from outside Europe. This page will help you some tips of how to stay afloat and not to crash and burn in your dating zone.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #1: Equality

Netherlands is big into equality and it’s something I’ve experienced myself first hand living here. The common historic belief that men can do more than woman doesn’t roll on here. Yes there are different qualities men and woman posses naturally due to compose of our genetics but it is applied here that women can do anything men can do. In fairness it is true we can all do what we want. So it’s not a question of whether it can be done but mere figure of our thinking.  So give your ladies the confidence that you believe in them achieving they want to. For women do reach out to your guy for help once in a while so that he feels that he can help you out and show how much he appreciates you in return. We as expats should learn the culture and way of life in the country we decide to move in.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #2: Split the Bill

When going out on dates it is socially acceptable in Netherlands to split the bill. In some countries it is always guy’s total responsibility to pay for dates or at least first few dates. So expat ladies coming from abroad don’t take it as sign of rejection or dislike if the guy splits the bill like nothing happened. It’s completely normal over here. Being expat myself I think this unwritten rule got written somewhere by Dutch women who started paying for drinks and dates to show that they are independent which is understandable.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #3: Invest in Dutch Language

Learning a new language is not easy as it sounds. For adults busy with our lives it’s sometimes a life long process if you really want to speak it well. I’ve heard expats say “Why should I learn Dutch, it’s useless”. Hmm…it’s not useless on the contrary it’s very helpful and give your transition to moving here and becoming socially active a big boost. Think about it, if you decide to move to China, would you think it’s useless just because it’s not spoken anywhere else? Just because people in the Netherlands speak English doesn’t mean it renders the Dutch language useless. If you are an expat then having knowledge of Dutch will give you plus points dating expats as well as locals.

Dutch Men Love Brown Shoes and Money

Ok I would think that yes the later is probably true that Dutch men love money. But exactly in which country doesn’t men and women wouldn’t mind extra bucks in their bank accounts. Being a guy I can’t comment much on how much stingy men can be but ya I would agree that men here don’t like waste money. If you just go on Marktplaats one can see all kinds of used things on sale. They don’t just like anything to go to waste. Heck, I’ve even seen adverts of old used pair of sneakers on sale there. Not sure if that advert was from man or woman, expat or local. But it just goes to show how the culture it is on saving money over here. Some people would say that it is environmentally friendly to not let things go to waste. I like to think the same. However they do love to spend because you can see in the Netherlands there isn’t any lack of fancy cars and houses.

Being an expat say from Malaysia, India, South Korea or other Asian nations it might look odd buying and selling old things but it goes over here.

Dutch Women Love Smoking

Alright this is probably is very big misconception to say that Dutch women love smoking. Sure the Netherlands is open to have people smoke some marijuana and weed etc but it doesn’t mean that your average Dutch lady is fan of a smoke. Women here can be very health conscious doing sports, going to gym, eating healthy diet and so on. I would think that women in France are more likely to smoke in comparison to Dutch. According to Worldbank data females smoking is on a sharp decline around the globe being 7.8% in 2010 and 6.4% in 2016. Personally I wouldn’t date someone who smokes. I just don’t get it what do you get out of inhaling toxic fumes and emptying out your pockets for it.

On the other hand if you do smoke it can be a conversation striker to offer a smoke or smoke with them.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #4: Try becoming bit of a…perfectionist

The Netherlands is an organized country which means if you are not well organized then you may find yourself in the other side of things i.e behind. So heads up expats, get your gear together and organize yourself. From your financials to time management. This means you need to know how much time you spend on watching those Bollywood movies on Netflix and what are you doing to learning new skills.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #5: Be on Time

Start getting in habit of arriving on time. You don’t want your date waiting. This is probably the most important lesson for Expats to be on time! This may seem obvious to many but the problem is being new in the country you have no idea how long it will take from getting one place to another. You might eve get lost. End result, your date is gone and probably furious. So be well in time if not early.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #6: Become Rule Savvy

If you haven’t already noticed there seem to be a rule for everything over here. Growing up in such environment must lead one to become a comply maniac. Being expat this might seem straight out weird in some cases. I personally haven’t seen so many road signs anywhere in the world and I’ve been around. The good thing though is that they depict pictures next to their Dutch signs so that even if you don’t speak the language you get a fair idea of the sign is about.

Mind you Dutch people have similar lifestyle. They go on about doing things in an orderly fashion. Which day to take out trash. When to clean. What to attend and probably also who to meet!

Expat Dating Singles Tip #7: No Flowers on the First Date

This is something that is very different in the Netherlands. People here don’t get emotionally friendly or quickly enough. For example in Italy if you are going on your first few dates it is expected(almost certainly) that the guy bring some flowers or a small gift. Roses or tulips or what not to cheer up your date with a bright smile making them comfortable. Should you bring flowers for your date in het Netherlands it may seem bit what you may call sign of “desperation” and you don’t want that.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #8: Don’t Dress Up

This might seem oddly odd to most of expats coming from most countries of the world. Where I come from, presentation and first impressions counts. So dressing up with that gel in your hair or wearing that dress you’ve been waiting to wear may seem like the perfect idea. I’ve come to learn that it’s not the case so. People here want to know what you are like in your everyday life and if you dress up then they won’t be able to see that. So wearing anything is perfectly acceptable. It’s true that real beauty doesn’t need diamonds to look appealing. As long as you are not stinking and you clothes are clean, you will be fine.

Expat Dating Singles Tip #9: No Actually means….No

Internationally in some cultures like America, UK and India it is sometimes a game when girl says “no” or “she’s not ready for it” it can be seen as a sign that she might open up on later dates or in the near future. Expats be warned that when a Dutch woman says she’s not interested, its end of it. Move on. Find another date, there are plenty of them. You would be wasting your time to think things will change if you keep at it. In fact you are moving things in worse position doing it this way. Did I mention to move on!

Expat Dating Singles Tip #10: Go Out

Right ok we are here finally. Tip number 10, Go Out single people! A purrty birdy once told me that your date will never come knocking on your door(apart from figure of speech) literally. So don’t expect that a single woman or single man will knock on your door and introduce themselves and take it from there. This comes as no surprise that after a long day at work expat singles just want to stay at home and rest. But the trouble with this is that then you are guaranteed to NOT meet anyone. Make yourself available as much as you can. You can rest all you want when you have found your match. So go out and have fun meeting singles looking to get found!


Amsterdam is filled with wonderful single people who are looking to meet and date others. That is why we organize Face to Face Dating Events for Singles in Amsterdam. Singles attend from across the country specially from Utrecht, Rotterdam, Den Hague. Join us sometime.

Meet Singles Face to Face in Events organized in Netherlands


>>> We run singles evening in Amsterdam once a month <<<

Happy Dating!

Meet Singles Face to Face in Events organized in Netherlands


1 thought on “Expat Dating Singles Netherlands – How not Crash & Burn”

Leave a Comment