Speed Dating Amsterdam Meeting Singles a Nightmare?
We all know how stressful it can be meeting other singles for the very first time, but if does go well it can be really start of a wonderful new beginning. Speed Dating in Amsterdam is a similar experience and in this update I will talk about what you can expect and what you shouldn’t expect attending one of our Singles Face to Face Dating Events or meeting any other date anywhere else. We have put together some master tips for you so that your dating scene goes as smooth as possible. One thing to keep in mind is that the other singles are going through the same simultaneous traumatic and excitement as you so it should be a relief to hear that you are not the only one in that boat.
Speed Dating Amsterdam
You are right in front of each other
You are at Singles Speed Dating Event and you are in front of a brand new person. This is not a tinder match nor pof recommendation on your smartphone which means nothing more than some pictures and thoughts of a stranger. This is real in life face to face meeting with another single person who has made an effort just like yourself to get out there and meet new people. Time is running out before next single comes along and this one must move along so don’t sit there and let the clock tick. Make the best of the time available with this person.
Start by talking about anything the first comes to your mind but be careful going tangent on irrelevant questions may reveal about the single persons personality but it may not reveal if this single person will make a suitable partner for you. If I may recommend that you bring in five questions which you must ask from each of the single person you meet so that you can narrow down your choice down to one best.
Hold Back Any Judgments
This is completely natural and normal to start deciphering and creating conclusions about the person you are sitting with. However, try it if you can to start from a blank peace of paper. Start asking intriguing yet safe questions. Let the other single ask you questions in return and try to answer them politely and honesty. Before you know it the blank piece of canvas will automatically start to fill up and you would know if this person holds the key to your dreams or not.
Avoid Playing Mind Games
The Netherlands is an amazing country filled with amazing people from all over the world. This is great but it also complicates the situation in cross cultural situations. This is your first time meeting this blind date and there is not enough time nor the understanding to know exactly what you mean. The best thing would be to keep language to simplest form and ask questions clearly as possible and answer questions clearly as possible. This would lead to better understanding of each other and it will help remove any unnecessary dislikes. Sweet.
Don’t be Afraid to Develop Feelings
This is a big one. Most of the people would be reluctant to let themselves have feelings on their first blind date however this is where it starts so don’t hold yourself back. The more you allow yourself to be open and available the feelings will naturally help you make decisions. We understand you will be meeting plenty of singles at the event so it would be nerve wrecking to have feelings for so many of them. We sometimes get even more nervous when we really like someone and start making mistakes or speaking gibberish. The best thing would be to have a drink with you at hand and that way you can consume some of the feelings along the liquid to keep yourself at ease.
Have an opinion
It’s ok to have an opinion but it’s a turn off if you come across over confident. Someone who will always have their say constantly because thats how things should be in their eyes. Singles pick up on these sort of things. They want to meet someone who has room for having a two way street.
Find something to discuss or reflect upon. It could be be simple as asking about their hobbies or what they enjoy doing. Where was their last holiday or where would they like to go in the future. Avoid talking about work because most of the people do not enjoy their jobs but they could go on an on talking about it. It is said to avoid talking about your previous relationships. However it is worth noting that even if you talk about your relationship you could explain why none of your previous relationships didn’t last or what didn’t work for you or why it ended. This would give clear indication to your partner as to what to avoid and what exactly you are looking for so that the same thing doesn’t happen again.
It’s not a job interview
You are a single person looking for another person to create a relationship. This is Speed Dating in Amsterdam. It’s not a job interview so there is no need to worry. You may feel discomfort in this social setting. Not everyday we do this kind of thing. We are not used to it, no one is. The key is to relax and breath and remember the reason you are there. Mantra for you “Through the stormy waters shall we reach our destination”.
Smiling in a dating scenario is very helpful. A happy face is very inviting. It’s easy to let your mind wonder to issues in your life but at the singles dating event night you are not there to discuss that. You are at the dating event to meet someone who can help you alleviate pains and problems in your life but all that stuff comes later. For now relax, smile and be pleasant. This way you will be seen as someone who has skills to juggle all sorts of situations in life. Very appealing.
This is a problematic one. Girls hear compliments all the time and guys almost never. We all need to hear some nice compliments to feel nice but so don’t let your tongue be tied or mind be contemplating whether you should give the compliment or not. It’s a singles dating night and this is the time when one should give and receive compliments. Quite often if you give a compliment to someone, they would quickly give you a compliment back. They are so quick to compliment back because they had it on their mind and as soon as you give them your compliment their brain gets a green light to give that compliment that he or she has been holding on so tight to. Try it in a first time dating situation sometime, it really works!
A Fair Chance
In today’s fast moving world we expect everything to run at high speed. We should slow down once in a while. Ironically we have found ourselves into a Speed Dating Event for Singles in Amsterdam! Yes we all like efficiency but this doesn’t mean you don’t even give the other person a chance to show who they are and why they are right for you. Last week we wrote about Be loved by someone right…Singles Dating Amsterdam
A handshake is a universal sign of welcome and friendship. Expat internationals and Dutch locals alike. In a first time singles dating event situation it is nice to shake hands. Our sense of touch is very strong. It is a way to connect with someone. At speed dating event you get to shake hands with many date partners. You may shake hands when you first sit down with your partner and then again when you are leaving to move to another partner. You can close your conversation with a nice closing sentence and a hand shake.
Sometimes I think that most single people who are looking in their 30s are seeking perfectly perfect perfection. Ya I said it. They would rather have it all i.e perfectly perfect partner so they can have a perfect life or nothing at all. This is the worst approach one can have while interesting in meeting new people. The minute we stop thinking that there is someone out there who was only and only made for us and just as perfect as yourself somewhere out there DOES NOT EXIST. Sorry to blow your bubble but this is not Hollywood. Try going to Hollywood and you will see it is a fake fake world. So be realistic and understand that we are all unique and the best person we could ever have is one who makes room in their life for you and commits to do their best for you sometimes at cost of their own interest. This kind of relationship can be described as unconditional love. Something we expect but do not give. Sad but true.
Be an Adult
Respect other’s feelings. It’s ok if you do not like the other single person but do not speak condescending to them. Lowering someone else would not make anyone else any lower. It only puts you into an imaginary higher position which doesn’t last. If for any reason you are absolutely sure that you won’t be interested in the other single person then the best thing would be to simply let them know politely so that they can save themselves time and energy as well. That way you could both talk about some other things until you are moved to the next single person. Who knows by the end of your conversation you may have proved yourself wrong!
Be Your Own Version of Yourself
You got me. I’m trying to say, be yourself. I know you’ve heard it millions of times already but hey it’s true. Unfortunately there are people out there who I like to call blabber mouths, who speak nasty about your way of thinking or comment negatively about you. For this reason a lot of people try to obscure their personality as a cover up and show only what we know is acceptable in general. Doing this may save you negative comments but then other single will need a lot more time before they can understand you better. You may read our update on Expat Dating Singles Netherlands – How not Crash & Burn
We hope you got some useful tips on meeting singles on your first dates which will improve your chances to meet the one that you are looking for.
Amsterdam is filled with wonderful single people who are looking to meet and date others. That is why we organize Face to Face Dating Events for Singles in Amsterdam. Singles attend from across the country specially from Utrecht, Rotterdam, Den Hague. Join us sometime.
Meet Singles Face to Face in Events organized in Netherlands